Crystalstone / The Boy and the Pirates (Midnite Movies Double Feature) (1988) Review

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(More customer reviews)Like "13 Ghosts" (1960) "The Boy and the Pirate" is an exceptional matinee adventure/fantasy fare of its day; it doesn't get any better. More importantly, this movie was tailor made for boys 10 to 12 years old; I was 12 at the time when this movie came out and I was hooked. Afterward this movie disappeared from sight and record and I wonder if I have imagined seeing it. But now I own it in DVD and it's like going back into time, a time when fantasy were made more sincerely, not condescending or patronizing as it is done today. At times there are scenes that are too funny, enjoyable, while others are terrifying, like our young hero facing life threatening situations. Regardless of the sled ride the kids get from watching this movie, the film does make a moral statement that should be taken very seriously: BE CAREFUL WHAT YOU WISH FOR!Immediate Retraction
June 30, 2010
In the past five years, the top ticket items of Hollywood's best fantasy movies all proved to be winners--and me wrong! This contradicts my past premise, which I wrote for the above review of "The Boy and The Pirates," in 2006. In it I said that today's "fantasy movies" were "condescending or patronizing." Although time has made a liar out of me, this I do know: The Voyage of the Dawn Treader will keep up with The Lion, the Witch and the Wardrobe in fantasy excellence. This epic fantasy series, by C. S. Lewis, is unmatched in Hollywood. The Chronicles of Narnia are not alone. Others fantasy epics such as The Golden Compass, Harry Potter, Stardust, Inkheart, Alice in Wonderland and the Lord of the Rings are unforgettable--but it's Narnia that will win the hearts and joys of families in the U.S. and around the world. For true fantasy movies are for family viewing. In short, I'm happy to be proven wrong, and even happier to state, through its previews, that "The Chronicles of Narnia: The Voyage of the Dawn Treader" will be the best of the best--unseen!
PS: I did not include "Pan's Labyrinth" into the list. But don't get me wrong. Labyrinth has earned its critically acclaimed accolades in fantasy hands down, but unfortunately, it's not for family viewing. Although with the Harry Potter series, which preceded 2006, I considered it as an exception of my assertion that fantasy films were "condescending or patronizing."

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The Incredible Two-Headed Transplant/The Thing With Two Heads (1972) Review

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(More customer reviews)This is certainly a double feature if I've ever seen one! Both films deal with the still unapproved surgical procedure of grafting a second head onto a human body. Just imagine how many lives will be saved when science finally gets this far. The Incredible Two-Headed Transplant is first on the bill. It's awfully funny, though it seems to be taking itself seriously. Wacky scientist, fired and disgraced from his surgeon job(for reasons never explained) decides to show the medical world he's worth something by creating a two-headed man. Sounds simple enough, he already has numerous two-headed animals. When an escaped rapist/killer tries to assault the doctor's wife, the doctor blows him away and sticks the head onto the local retarded handyman. Neither men consent to this. The operation is a success, and it certainly is incredible-incredibly stupid, that is. The doctor and his assistant actually seemed surprised that the thing goes on a killing spree after it escapes. I guess the doctor didn't think that he had just revived the head of the guy who tried to rape his wife. And to add to the fun, Casey Kasem is in it too! Some of the editing looks like this could have been a lost Russ Meyer movie...minus the boobs of course.
Next on the double bill is The Thing With Two Heads. This time the movie is going for laughs, and does succeed in a few spots. Though it's less serious, the explanation of grafting a second head is more believable this time. This is definately a career low for Ray Milland, who is established early on as a racist surgeon. He doesn't want to hire a black doctor even though he has a great reputation. Milland is dying of cancer and wants a body donor from death row to graft his head onto, then after his head adjusts to the body, remove the convict's head and replace it with his own. With time running out for Milland and only one donor, it turns out to be a black man who has other plans-he wants to clear his name of the crime he was accused of. Lots of chasing, including a long motorcycle chase where a record number of police cars are trashed. So, get yourself Domino's two for one pizza deal, kick back and enjoy the two-headed double feature.

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