The Beach Girls (1982) / Coach (1978) Review

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(More customer reviews)More drive-in/grindhouse-style fun! A grindhouse, by the way, was one of those 70's & 80's-era theaters that usually showed the same kind of sexy, violent exploitation fare as your typical drive-in theater. Sadly, both grindhouses and drive-ins have mostly fallen by the wayside in our slick multiplex culture. But, fear not, you get a sharp taste of that bygone era with these terrific "Welcome to the Grindhouse" DVDs. So, what's in store when you pop this particular double-feature disc into your DVD player and kick back? Glad you asked.
First (well, after the cheesy, scratchy, yet colorfully hypnotic "previews of coming attractions" bumper that every theater seemed to show in those days), you get a short trailer to something called "The Van" (randy guys cruising for chicks in their specially-outfitted-for-love vehicle) and a longer trailer for something called "Jocks" (randy guys on some vague high school or college sports team who party and chase girls a lot). Do you sense a theme here?
Next up, our first feature, "The Beach Girls". In a nutshell: one long party, frequent nudity (skinnydipping in the pool, skinnydipping on the beach, and just an overall casual attitude about the importance of clothing in general), and lots of pot smoking. With its lenient attitude about drug use and sex, along with the way it ridicules men in uniform (especially the poor U.S. Coast Guard, whose officers are portrayed as ascot-wearing dopes), I can't imagine that "The Beach Girls" was very popular with PTA groups, law enforcement, and other organizations that usually sport a sour attitude about those kinds of things. But you're not among those groups, are you, so all you need to know is this: the girls are sexy; the jokes are stupid but undeniably chuckle-inducing; and there's a general, upbeat "sun & fun" flavor that keeps things bopping along. The result: 90 minutes of silly, clothing-optional fun.
Next up: more sexy previews. "Malibu Beach" looks like the official sister film to "The Beach Girls". In fact, many of the visual gags performed by the extras in "The Beach Girls" (dog stealing the bikini top from the gal sunbather, for example) are seen again- the exact same footage, I mean- in the trailer for "Malibu Beach". I guess Crown International Pictures was an economical operation. There's also a trailer to a film called "My Tutor", featuring that classic theme of the exploitation era, the student/teacher liaison (more on this later). Oh, and be sure to remember: in order to see all these high-art previews and trailers, you need to hit the "grindhouse experience" icon on the DVD's menu screen, not just select an individual movie. The "grindhouse experience" means you get all the goodies discussed here.
Next we have our second feature, entitled "Coach". Of the handful of "Welcome to the Grindhouse" movies I've seen so far, this one is the most like, well... a real movie. It's a nice little story about a female high school basketball coach winning over her detractors (the high school's old boy network, the skeptical team members, etc.) and eventually making her underachieving team into winners. It's nothing groundbreaking, but this polished movie, with its recognizable actors (Cathy Lee Crosby, Keenan Wynn, etc.) was clearly an attempt by Crown International Pictures to break into more mainstream markets. Fear not, though, exploitation fans... in many respects, Crown still couldn't help being Crown, so you still get the following from "Coach": occasional female toplessness (by the girl students, but not, alas, by Ms. Crosby... except for one short, teasing shot); lots of male butt views in the team shower for gal viewers; a hot affair (unfortunately, discreetly filmed) between Cathy Lee Crosby's coach character and one of her teenage charges (a very young Michael Biehn, who went on to play the time-traveling Reese a few years later in the first "Terminator" film); a surprisingly benign view of that teacher/student liaison on the part of the film makers (no 11th hour punishment or tragedy to break up the illicit lovers); and the usual goofy but fun jokes.
The prints used for the two films are both very, very good. They're sharp, clear, and bright, and free of scratches and other glitches. That, coupled with the fact that the films themselves rate a couple of notches higher on the production quality scale (especially "Coach"), made these goofy, sexy comedy/dramas (well, "dramas" might be too strong a word) a pleasure to watch. After all, there's nothing wrong with a little polish and professionalism with one's exploitation fare.
Well, enough with the sun, fun, and bikinis. Now it's time for me to check out some of those "Welcome to the Grindhouse" DVDs that feature martial arts double features. Everything can't be about girls and hedonism, you know.

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