Showing posts with label ninja. Show all posts
Showing posts with label ninja. Show all posts

11/12/2011

Ninja (2009) Review

Ninja (2009)
Average Reviews:

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This review will be broken down into two sections: 1) The quality of the movie itself, and 2) The BD Disc quality.
First up, the film itself:
Plot (WARNING, MINOR SPOILERS AHEAD!!!!)
The time is present day, and somewhere in a rural region of Japan, a dojo carries on the tradition of the Koga Ninja by training students in the ninja arts. The head of the school, called the Soke, is nearing retirement age and must choose his successor. His top two students are fierce rivals and both are leading candidates to inherit the title of Soke. However, before the Soke can appoint his successor, one of the top two students disgraces himself in a training duel against his rival and is banished from the school. Predictably, the banished student becomes a freelance assassin, and we see him employ his ninja skills to deadly effect in a very cool assassination sequence.
We soon learn that the Soke is the keeper of some ancient Koga weapons which, legend has it, grants the wielder extraordinary abilities. The banished ninja comes calling to claim the weapons, but only after they've been shipped elsewhere for safekeeping. A vicious battle ensues between the bansihed ninja and the Soke, and at the conclusion of this battle, the chase is on for the Koga weapons, with the film culminating in a showdown between, you guessed it, the two rival ninja students. In this climactic battle, only one survives.
As an added bonus, the beautiful daughter of the Soke is thrown into the mix, but sadly, she serves as little more than window dressing. While she demonstrates some ninja skills, she is mostly helpless in a fight and is relegated to the role of damsel in distress more often than not, despite having trained all her life in the ninja arts. Though in her defense, she's fairly useful with a bow and arrow, and she's nice to look at.
The plot is better than most straight to video flicks, and in this case, serves as the thin thread tying the action scenes together, which are themselves well choreographed and well filmed.
The Action:
The action scenes feature the generous use of ninja weapons, including some impressive sword battles, as well as some decent hand to hand fight scenes. Aside from three fairly intense one-on-one fight scenes (all featuring liberal use of the katana), most of the battles feature one of the top ninjas in the film dispatching a multitude of lesser skilled opponents. The star of the film, Scott Adkins (caucasian actor and good guy ninja), demonstrates impressive martial arts and acrobatic ability, and it appears that he performed most of his own stunts. Keep your eyes open for a scene where he uses his acrobatic ability to evade an oncoming car. The ninja villain (asian actor and bad guy ninja, read into that what you will) also seemed to be well versed in martial arts and the use of ninja weapons, and I dare say that the fight scenes in this movie were more impressive than those in "Ninja Assassin" due in equal part to good choreography (far better than a Van Damme or Seagal flick, though don't expect anything as energetic or creative as what you'd see from Hong Kong legends like Yuen Woo Ping, Corey Yuen, Jet Li or Jackie Chan), the actors in this film being experienced martial artists, and an editing style that lingers just long enough on the action (as opposed to the hyper-quick cut aways used in Ninja Assassins, which is the norm for a film featuring actors who aren't very adept at performing the action featured in the film) so you can appreciate the skill of the actors pulling off the moves.
The Acting:
Nothing to write home about. The actors look and play their parts well enough as far as action films like this go, but none of them deliver performances that will leave a long lasting impression on you. That's a good thing though, because the acting isn't horrible either. It's just good enough to move the story along, as threadbare and full of plotholes as it is.
The special effects:
There is liberal use of blood splattering, sometimes into the camera, when a katana is used to lethal effect. The blood didn't look overly cartoony to me, but your tolerance/appreciation of these effects will vary depending on how much of a gorehound you are.
The pyrotechnics are good. Swords clashing generate sparks at the appropriate times, and I recall two separate vehicle explosions also being impressively done.
As for the BLU-RAY itself:
Picture quality on my 1080P Phillips is excellent, though not quite reference material. The image is generally sharp, colors are well delineated with little crush evident in day or night scenes, and there is very little to no film grain, leading me to believe the film was shot digitally, with some grain retained for a film-like appearance.
I can't provide a detailed review of the audio, as I utilize only the speakers on my tv itself, but from what I heard, I can say the audio came across clearly, with dialogue being easy to pick up and louder foley effects, such as swords clashing, gun fire, and explosions, coming in crisply as well.
There is nothing in the way of special features, unless you count previews of other movies.
All in all, if you're not too critical when it comes to martial arts themed movies, and you have an interest in seeing ninjas fighting ninjas and killing people in bloody fashion without an overuse of rapid cut editing, you may be pleasantly surprised. I recommend "Ninja" to viewers who are nostalgic for films like American Ninja (the first and best of the series) and Sho Kosugi films like Revenge of the Ninja.
Is Ninja worth a blind buy though? I'd say for the $15 price tag, it is if you're a fan of violent and bloody ninja films. If you're just a casual fan, a rental is the safest bet.
Either way, whether you rent or buy, there are far worse films in this genre out there, so happy viewing!

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9/13/2011

Bitch Slap (Unrated) (2009) Review

Bitch Slap (Unrated) (2009)
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Oh yes, "Bitch Slap" is everything you think it is. Girls. Guns. Catfights. Explosions. Lesbian romances. A story of bad guys, booty, alliances, betrayals, and secrets. It's being billed as, "a post-modern, thinking man's throwback to the B movie/exploitation films of the 1950s - 70s," but the truth is it gives us little to think about, and I'm hard pressed to say that it reexamines modern assumptions of culture, identity, and language. It does, however, open with a Joseph Conrad quote: "The belief in a supernatural source of evil is not necessary; men alone are quite capable of every wickedness." We see the word "men" and automatically think it's a blatant anti-male message. But by the end of the film, it's made abundantly clear that women are just capable of being wicked. Equality through evil. Funny.
This movie is irredeemably enjoyable, preposterous in both its story and its characters yet magnetic as a satire disguised as a schlocky male fantasy. It tells the story of three bad girls, all smoking hot, who find themselves in a plot to extort diamonds and weapons from an underworld kingpin, whose identity is a secret. The redhead is Hel, presumably short for Helen (Erin Cummings); she seems to be the leader of the group, tough but levelheaded, able to see the big picture and plan accordingly. The blonde is Camero (America Olivo), an oversexed hothead who's on medication. She's one of those people that hates everyone and is mad about everything, and has the dialogue to prove it. The brunette is a stripper named Trixie (Julia Voth), always upset, always overwhelmed, always wanting to play by the rules.
Every opportunity is taken to flaunt their feminine assets, and boy, do they have them - a basic shot is a slow-motion close-up of heaving breasts and deep cleavage, although some time is set aside for bare legs. There's never a moment when they aren't wearing high heels or don't have makeup painted on their faces. And then there are times when they pause to do a little manual labor, such as digging in the middle of the desert. My, but it's burning hot, and ... is that a bucket of water sitting there? Maybe they should splash each other playfully in order to stay cool. Things will heat back up later on, when Trixie and Hel discover that their feelings for one another are deeper than they first imagined. That's about when the situation goes completely out of control. Loyalties change. Identities are revealed. People get shot. Things blow up. And did I mention the catfights?
Intertwined with this is a ridiculous but somehow appropriate subplot about a notorious criminal known only as Pinky, never dealt with directly and never seen but fabled to be the most dangerous criminal mastermind who ever lived. When Trixie innocently brings up the subject, Hel and Camero speak in the same tones as someone telling a ghost story around a campfire. "Many believe Pinky's a phantom," says Camero. "Others think he sold his soul to the devil. I think he IS the devil." Maybe so; a flashback sequence shows a silhouetted figure going nuts with what appear to be samurai swords, used to decapitate people left and right. Do we ever discover what Pinky looks like? With such gorgeous women displayed on the big screen, can you honestly say that you care?
When this movie is not going out of its way to be sexy, then it's being incredibly goofy. Take Olivo, for example; the angrier she gets, the funnier she becomes, not only because she spews unbelievably inane profanity, but also because her character is the most aggressive. And just wait until you hear of her tryst with a sideshow contortionist. Let's also consider the director, Rick Jacobson; he's currently at work on the new "Spartacus: Blood and Sand" television series and has been involved with "She Spies," "Cleopatra 2525," "Batwatch," "La Femme Nikita," "Hercules: The Legendary Journeys," and "Xena: Warrior Princess." The last two are noteworthy because Kevin Sorbo, Lucy Lawless, and Renée O'Connor all have cameos in "Bitch Slap." Or maybe they aren't noteworthy at all. Whatever.
This movie is, essentially, a cross between an erotic photo shoot and a silly crime caper, one that has been fed into a low-tech special effects mill. And I suppose that's why I had fun watching it. While I ultimately have no good reason for recommending it, you have to admit, there is something infectious about a movie that actively tries to be bad. I'm reminded of an often repeated Pauline Kael quote: "Movies are so rarely great art that if we cannot appreciate great trash, we have very little reason to be interested in them." "Bitch Slap" is, indeed, great trash, projected up on the screen in all its violent, foulmouthed, double-D glory. Fellas, this is your lucky day.

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