Showing posts with label b movie. Show all posts
Showing posts with label b movie. Show all posts

4/22/2012

The Living Dead Girl (1982) Review

The Living Dead Girl (1982)
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Yet another well-done, beautiful-looking Jean Rollin film. Some workers storing chemical waste in a crypt decide to moonlight as grave-robbers and open a coffin containing an astonishingly well-preserved young woman. But oops, there's this earthquake, y'see, and chemicals spill and o' course this brings the girl back to life and she starts killing (sharp fingernails!). Then she wanders off to a large chateau, of which her undead brain contains vague memories. There she meets her best friend, who's so glad to see her back among the living (sort of) that she decides to help her get the blood she craves by luring in victims. This leads to some pretty heavy gore - more graphic than what you usually see from Rollin - and o' course there's plenty of nudity, all of it beautifully, poetically filmed. Pretty extreme in all counts, and has that dreamlike suspension-of-logic that'll make you not worry about details (like why didn't the girl decay at all? and is there anything worse than the accordian-rock of The Fireflies?). Another good 'un from Rollin.

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3/24/2012

Panic in the Skies (1996) Review

Panic in the Skies (1996)
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Definitely not a great film, but a fun one. A TV version of one of the Airport/Plane disaster flicks. Jackson is the head stewardess and surrogate mom and a lot of B-grade 70's and 80's actors make up the rest of the cast. Erik Estrada, Maureen McCormick, Ed Marinaro ... anyway a storm blows up and kills the cockpit folk, so it's up to Kate and Company to save the plane and passngers. They have altitude and oxygen problems, gally fires, stray vicious dogs, rolling leaking cars and criminals all on the loose. BUT - it is definitely entertaining and rewatchable. Silly, yes, thrilling, at times, and so over the top. You almost can't help yourself in getting caught up in all the drama. A fun TV flick.

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A 747 filled with passengers is struck by lightning in mid-flight. The explosion kills the pilot and co-pilot and sends the airliner into a deadly nose dive.As terror fills the cabin, a flight attendant and two heroic passengers race to engage the automatic pilot, saving the lives of 400 people... for now.But with the plane's fuel tank leaking and no one on board qualified to land the jumbo jet, the Air Force is faced with a grim decision: Shoot the plane down over a deserted area or hope they find a solution to save the plane before it crashesinto a major city risking thousands more deaths. With time running out, a few ordinary people must do the extraordinary to save Flight 115 from disaster. Kate Jackson headlines an all-star cast in this explosive drama that features Ed Marinaro, Robert Guillaume, Erik Estrada and Maureen McCormick.

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2/07/2012

The Losers (1968) Review

The Losers (1968)
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If you frequented the drive-ins in the late 1960s/early 1970s, you may not recognize the name Joe Solomon, but you're probably familiar with some of the films he released through his independent company called Fanfare Film Production, Inc., most notably his extremely popular motorcycle pictures like Hells Angels on Wheels (1967), Angels from Hell (1968), Run, Angel, Run (1969), and this one, titled The Losers (1970) aka Nam's Angels, not to be confused with the 1988 film Nam Angels, which was essentially the same story, but with lesser production values and none of the star power, directed by Cirio H. Santiago. This film, written by Alan Caillou (Village of the Giants, Kingdom of the Spiders) and directed by Jack Starrett (Run, Angel, Run, Cleopatra Jones, Race with the Devil), features legendary B movie actor William Smith (Run, Angel, Run, Any Which Way You Can, Conan the Barbarian). Also appearing is Bernie Hamilton (Hammer), Adam Roarke (Psych-Out, Frogs), Houston Savage, Eugene Cornelius (Run, Angel, Run), Vic Diaz (Black Mama, White Mama, The Big Bird Cage), and Paul Koslo (Vanishing Point, The Omega Man), sporting one of the more ridiculous perms I've seen in awhile.
Smith plays Lincoln `Link' Thomas, leader of a small motorcycle gang known as the Devils Advocates, who have been hired by the American army to ride into Cambodia to rescue a captured CIA operative named Chet Davis (played by the director himself), something the army couldn't do because officially, there was no war in the region. Link's crew is made up of some real characters, including Speed (Cornelius), Limpy (Koslo), and two, recent veterans of Vietnam conflict named Duke (Roarke) and Dirty Denny (Savage). Once in country, the boys hop on some motorcycles and ride into a small village near the Vietnam/Cambodian border, where the plan is to modify their motorcycles A-Team style before embarking on their mission. Both Duke and Denny tend to some unfinished business, there's some barroom brawling, Limpy hooks up with a babe, and it looks like the modification work on the bikes will never get done. Things change, though, when most of the gang gets arrested after a tussle with the local authorities, and some army representatives smooth things over on the condition they buckle down and complete their work. After finishing up on the bikes and spending a great deal of time working over the plans, the boys finally head off, invading a compound crawling with not only Viet Cong, but also Chinese army regulars. It's some kick ash action as all hell is unleashed. Things initially go well, but eventually the plan turns to feces as the guy they're sent to rescue is a real, un-cooperative a-hole, and he and Link have a history. The boys, or what's left of them, are captured and imprisoned, stuck behind enemy lines, with no hope of outside help. Things are certainly looking grim for our hapless, hairy heroes, but if motorcycle films have taught me anything, it's that bikers are a crafty, resilient, diehard bunch, and not likely to go down with out a fight.
It seemed to take a while for this movie, which was shot in the Philippines, to really get going, but once it did, woo wee! The first hour or so involved things getting set up, and featured more schmaltz than I would have preferred, especially in terms of Duke hooking back up with the girl he had to leave behind when his official tour of duty was over, and Limpy making time with a local woman who had a young daughter via a relationship with an American army officer who subsequently dumped her. I think these bits, along with a few other sequences, were meant to round out the characters rather than just portraying them as sleazy, dirty, drunken, greasy, hairy, stinky, foul mouthed bikers interested only in booze, broads, and brawling (that's Dirty Denny all over). They work to a point, but they also cause the movie to drag a little on the front end. Things do seriously pick up once the boys invade the enemy camp, riding hopped up motorcycles with armor plating and front mounted machine guns, blowing the hell out of everything in sight. The best parts involved Limpy, driving a three wheeled monstrosity known as the `hog wagon', which featured twin forward mounted, heavy caliber machine guns, along with a oversized rocket launcher. This movie is worth checking out alone for the scenes when he pops a wheelie so that he can fire rockets at overhead guard posts scattered throughout the compound. The action sequences were exceptionally orchestrated and filmed well, as was the stunt work, although the slow motion death sequence routine was over utilized a little. As far as the acting, it was solid all around, and it seemed like there was a good bit of improvisation in terms of the script, which featured plenty of juicy racist, un-politically correct comments thrown about. This might be objectionable to some, but given the context of the story and the characters themselves, it was representative of attitudes present at the time, and ultimately adding a certain level of realism to the movie. The blood may not have looked all that real, but there was plenty of it, especially near the end. One really odd aspect of the movie was the theme song. It's a sort of trite, folksy, fatalistic piece common of the time, sung by a woman with a high voice. I would have preferred a more rockin' bit of music (Stu Phillips composed the instrumental pieces featured in the film), but I think the piece was used to evoke a sense of melancholy for the characters whose destinies were predetermined long before they accepted the dangerous mission played out in the story, tying back to the title of the movie, The Losers.
Dark Sky Films provides an excellent looking, widescreen (1.85:1) anamorphic print on this DVD release, along with a strong Dolby Digital 2.0 mono audio track. As far as extras, there are English subtitles, a good commentary track featuring actors William Smith and Paul Koslo (along with a moderator), a photo gallery featuring promotional materials for the film, two radio spots, and a theatrical trailer for the movie along with one for another film called Werewolves on Wheels (1971).
Cookieman108
If I learned anything from this film, it's that thatched huts blow up real good and if a vindictive biker ever offers you a beer, be sure to keep one eye on him while you're guzzling it otherwise he'll punch you in your fat gut, causing you to lose your good time vibe (and your lunch).

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9/13/2011

Bitch Slap (Unrated) (2009) Review

Bitch Slap (Unrated) (2009)
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Oh yes, "Bitch Slap" is everything you think it is. Girls. Guns. Catfights. Explosions. Lesbian romances. A story of bad guys, booty, alliances, betrayals, and secrets. It's being billed as, "a post-modern, thinking man's throwback to the B movie/exploitation films of the 1950s - 70s," but the truth is it gives us little to think about, and I'm hard pressed to say that it reexamines modern assumptions of culture, identity, and language. It does, however, open with a Joseph Conrad quote: "The belief in a supernatural source of evil is not necessary; men alone are quite capable of every wickedness." We see the word "men" and automatically think it's a blatant anti-male message. But by the end of the film, it's made abundantly clear that women are just capable of being wicked. Equality through evil. Funny.
This movie is irredeemably enjoyable, preposterous in both its story and its characters yet magnetic as a satire disguised as a schlocky male fantasy. It tells the story of three bad girls, all smoking hot, who find themselves in a plot to extort diamonds and weapons from an underworld kingpin, whose identity is a secret. The redhead is Hel, presumably short for Helen (Erin Cummings); she seems to be the leader of the group, tough but levelheaded, able to see the big picture and plan accordingly. The blonde is Camero (America Olivo), an oversexed hothead who's on medication. She's one of those people that hates everyone and is mad about everything, and has the dialogue to prove it. The brunette is a stripper named Trixie (Julia Voth), always upset, always overwhelmed, always wanting to play by the rules.
Every opportunity is taken to flaunt their feminine assets, and boy, do they have them - a basic shot is a slow-motion close-up of heaving breasts and deep cleavage, although some time is set aside for bare legs. There's never a moment when they aren't wearing high heels or don't have makeup painted on their faces. And then there are times when they pause to do a little manual labor, such as digging in the middle of the desert. My, but it's burning hot, and ... is that a bucket of water sitting there? Maybe they should splash each other playfully in order to stay cool. Things will heat back up later on, when Trixie and Hel discover that their feelings for one another are deeper than they first imagined. That's about when the situation goes completely out of control. Loyalties change. Identities are revealed. People get shot. Things blow up. And did I mention the catfights?
Intertwined with this is a ridiculous but somehow appropriate subplot about a notorious criminal known only as Pinky, never dealt with directly and never seen but fabled to be the most dangerous criminal mastermind who ever lived. When Trixie innocently brings up the subject, Hel and Camero speak in the same tones as someone telling a ghost story around a campfire. "Many believe Pinky's a phantom," says Camero. "Others think he sold his soul to the devil. I think he IS the devil." Maybe so; a flashback sequence shows a silhouetted figure going nuts with what appear to be samurai swords, used to decapitate people left and right. Do we ever discover what Pinky looks like? With such gorgeous women displayed on the big screen, can you honestly say that you care?
When this movie is not going out of its way to be sexy, then it's being incredibly goofy. Take Olivo, for example; the angrier she gets, the funnier she becomes, not only because she spews unbelievably inane profanity, but also because her character is the most aggressive. And just wait until you hear of her tryst with a sideshow contortionist. Let's also consider the director, Rick Jacobson; he's currently at work on the new "Spartacus: Blood and Sand" television series and has been involved with "She Spies," "Cleopatra 2525," "Batwatch," "La Femme Nikita," "Hercules: The Legendary Journeys," and "Xena: Warrior Princess." The last two are noteworthy because Kevin Sorbo, Lucy Lawless, and Renée O'Connor all have cameos in "Bitch Slap." Or maybe they aren't noteworthy at all. Whatever.
This movie is, essentially, a cross between an erotic photo shoot and a silly crime caper, one that has been fed into a low-tech special effects mill. And I suppose that's why I had fun watching it. While I ultimately have no good reason for recommending it, you have to admit, there is something infectious about a movie that actively tries to be bad. I'm reminded of an often repeated Pauline Kael quote: "Movies are so rarely great art that if we cannot appreciate great trash, we have very little reason to be interested in them." "Bitch Slap" is, indeed, great trash, projected up on the screen in all its violent, foulmouthed, double-D glory. Fellas, this is your lucky day.

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Snakes on a Plane (Widescreen New Line Platinum Series) (2006) Review

Snakes on a Plane (Widescreen New Line Platinum Series) (2006)
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Look, if I wanted to watch one of the greatest movies of all time... "Citizen Kane" or "The Godfather" or "Jean de Florette" or "Airplane!", I would have stayed home with my DVDs. No. If I wanted subtle man-versus-vermin psychological horror, with organ music, I would have stayed home and listened to William Conrad as "Leiningen vs. The Ants".
No. No, no, no! I wanted to go out on a Friday night and I wanted to see snakes on a plane. Mo'fo' snakes on a mo'fo' plane. And that is exactly what I got.
The problems with this movie are very few. Number one, the main character in this movie is a surfer dude but the movie was shot in British Columbia. That's not a problem. Good second unit photography will have you convinced that you're on Waikiki Beach, and you didn't come to this movie to see surfer dudes, anyway. You wanted to see a CGI plane battling turbulence, and really vicious CGI snakes.
Number two, it takes about 20 to 30 minutes for the snakes to get out into the cabin and start rearing and biting. That's not a problem either. Make a list of every delicate body part you'd expect a snake to bite, and once the snakes get out, game on. You're waiting for the big python to show up? Well, that's at least an hour wait, but once he's out, game on.
Number three, it takes Samuel L. Jackson so long to drop That Line that you almost wonder if he's not ever going to say it. Again, not a problem.
Look, this movie was probably first-drafted in screenwriting class. The writers care way too much about their reluctant FBI witness to a mob hit scenario, when the audience just wants snakes. Snakes on a plane. And then when we finally hit the airport, you can do a head count of the passengers and figure out who's going to die, how, and when. There's the stuffy British business traveler (I had him pegged as the first to die), the hot-to-trot sexy young couple -- the girl's in pink thong panties, the aging flight attendant on her last flight, and the ambiguously gay male steward. Finally, the overweight comedy co-pilot with the Texas accent. The script writes itself.
But it's got snakes. Snakes on a plane. If you took the time to come to this page and rate the movie one or two stars, you clearly didn't realize what movie you were buying tickets to go see and you shouldn't have been there in the first place. If you want to see your awesomely bad snakes on a plane picture, this is literally the only movie to go see.
Sequels: Snakes on a Train. Snakes in Portland, Maine. Snakes in the Drain. Snakes in the Fast Lane. Snakes in the Cold November Rain. Snakes in a Music Video with House of Pain. Snakes in the Batter's Box with Ferris Fain. And finally... Snakes on a Train II. Bring it on!

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On board a flight over the Pacific Ocean, an assassin, bent on killing a passenger who's a witness in protective custody, let loose a crate full of deadly snakes.DVD Features:Audio CommentaryDeleted ScenesFeaturetteGag ReelMusic VideoTV SpotTheatrical Trailer


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