Showing posts with label awful. Show all posts
Showing posts with label awful. Show all posts

9/09/2012

The Westing Game Review

The Westing Game
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If you're looking for a faithful adaptation of the book, look elsewhere. This movie bulldozed over key characters and plot points. So disappointing.

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3/24/2012

Panic in the Skies (1996) Review

Panic in the Skies (1996)
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Definitely not a great film, but a fun one. A TV version of one of the Airport/Plane disaster flicks. Jackson is the head stewardess and surrogate mom and a lot of B-grade 70's and 80's actors make up the rest of the cast. Erik Estrada, Maureen McCormick, Ed Marinaro ... anyway a storm blows up and kills the cockpit folk, so it's up to Kate and Company to save the plane and passngers. They have altitude and oxygen problems, gally fires, stray vicious dogs, rolling leaking cars and criminals all on the loose. BUT - it is definitely entertaining and rewatchable. Silly, yes, thrilling, at times, and so over the top. You almost can't help yourself in getting caught up in all the drama. A fun TV flick.

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A 747 filled with passengers is struck by lightning in mid-flight. The explosion kills the pilot and co-pilot and sends the airliner into a deadly nose dive.As terror fills the cabin, a flight attendant and two heroic passengers race to engage the automatic pilot, saving the lives of 400 people... for now.But with the plane's fuel tank leaking and no one on board qualified to land the jumbo jet, the Air Force is faced with a grim decision: Shoot the plane down over a deserted area or hope they find a solution to save the plane before it crashesinto a major city risking thousands more deaths. With time running out, a few ordinary people must do the extraordinary to save Flight 115 from disaster. Kate Jackson headlines an all-star cast in this explosive drama that features Ed Marinaro, Robert Guillaume, Erik Estrada and Maureen McCormick.

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2/20/2012

Vampire Strangler 2-DVD Collector's Edition Review

Vampire Strangler 2-DVD Collector's Edition
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So, the fabled `Vampire Strangler' gets the special edition treatment. For those who don't know, this is softcore superstar, Misty Mundae's only "hardcore" film. However, be warned: if you are not a Misty Mundae fan, this film will not interest you in the slightest. If you are looking for a good hardcore movie, again, you need to look elsewhere: this is not a film that you will want to buy on a whim. It's a very low-budget affair complete with shoddy camera work and rotten acting.
If you already own the `Ultra-Naughty' DVD (Misty Mundae in Vampire Strangler Unrated Uncut Region 1 Ntsc), is it worth getting this new edition? Well, yes it is if you're interested in the additional material. This new edition contains a re-edited version of the film with the hardcore scenes incorporated into the main feature. The previous version only had these as bonus material. The new edit gives the film a running time of 88 minutes; the previous version's running time was 54 minutes. There is little discernable improvement in picture quality from the originally issued material.
Some stock footage of eastern European street scenes has been added to give the impression that Lydia (Misty Mundae) hails from Transylvania. Additional material has also been added to the scene where Lydia is woken up by something. In the new version, a projector suddenly appears and begins showing an 8mm black and white film of a couple having sex. The original sequence saw Lydia getting out of bed to check the door before returning to bed. This sequence does not appear in the new version.
On the second DVD in this set, the `Vampire Strangler' related extras consist of isolated erotic scenes (these are the deleted scenes as per the original Ultra-Naughty edition) and the original `lost' opening scene. I don't know why this scene was not edited into the restored version, but it does answer something that has puzzled me. The original opening credits list six performers: Misty Mondae [sic], Benny the Stain (aka Joey Smack), Stella Axelstar, Michi, Freak Nasty and Sonny Alacard. However, only four people appear in the film. Well, this original opening involves those missing cast members, but Misty does not appear in this scene. Incidentally, the fourth cast member from the original issue is Lily Tiger. Her presence in `Vampire Strangler' is never explained. While Johnnie (William Hellfire) and Lydia are doing their thing, Lily watches and becomes so aroused that she indulges herself in some minor hanky-panky with the doorframe!
The lovely Lily also appears in one of the DVD's bonus films, `The Vibrating Maid'. This seems like an odd choice for a bonus item since it's already available with Lust in the Mummy's Tomb and `The Inn of 1000 Sins'. I would have thought that something a little harder to find such as `Peeping in a Girl's Dormitory' would have been a more interesting choice. Another bonus film is `My Date With Misty Mundae'. Again an odd choice since it can also be found on Girl Seduction: A Collection of Misty Mundae Featurettes 1997-2002 and it is incorporated into the storyline in Vampire Vixens [Region 2] and in the same title in Misty Mundae Euro-Vixen Collection. However, the version on the new `Vampire Strangler' DVD is a little longer and has a "something for the ladies" moment when more of Misty's co-star, Mike Stefano, is exposed during the phone-sex scene than previous issues of this film have shown.
Of more interest to Misty fans is a short (approximately eight minutes), previously unseen film called `My Property'. This was shot in 1998 for the never completed `Hotel Asphyxia' and has Misty paired with William Hellfire for some nasty naughtiness. It's a pity that more unseen Misty footage could not have appeared as bonus material: surely there must be plenty in existence.
There are a number of trailers for upcoming releases including several Factory 2000 films that have never been issued on DVD, trailers for some retro hardcore titles are also included. The package is rounded off with a booklet containing liner notes and photographs from the production. The picture that accompanies Amazon's listing is taken from the slipcase. The pictures that grace the front and back covers of the DVD case are slightly more risque with Misty wearing a vampire cape and not much else in poses that recall Lina Romay in Female Vampire.
Unfortunately, no documentary material is included in the bonus material. An interview with William Hellfire or a commentary track could have been very interesting. There are some quotes from Hellfire in the liner notes, though.
`Vampire Strangler' is not a good film. Its infamous content may lure the unwary into thinking that this Factory 2000 production above all others pushes the exploitative envelope furthest. This is not the case. You need only to look at the Factory 2000 trailers on this DVD to see that their in-your-face sex and violence scenarios have a much nastier edge with softcore material compared to `Vampire Strangler' with its hardcore, but actually quite mellow content. There is only one reason for obtaining this DVD: Misty Mundae. The fact of the matter is that had Misty's later career in exploitation movies not blossomed, then this film would have been long forgotten. For Misty's disciples, any previously unseen material is always welcome. The film itself is worth three stars for Misty, but the small amount of additional material just about bumps the whole package up to four stars.


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1/30/2012

Shaggy and Scooby-Doo Get a Clue, Vol. 1 (2006) Review

Shaggy and Scooby-Doo Get a Clue, Vol. 1 (2006)
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Ok to be frank the artwork/colorization is lower than just about every other Scooby franchise piece that has been created. Outside of that It really is not to be judged against the traditional Scooby doo "Mystery" types. It is a cartoon in the scooby doo world, that has characters from Scooby Doo, but that's about it. When my son picked it for his birthday I thought that I would shortly be put through cartoon hell. We have just about every other scooby doo made and the kids love them and I enjoyed them also. After watching it it was a pleasant surprise. The artwork took alot to get used to it still is beneath the usual scooby standards but it is fine in it's own way. The real standouts are the writing and the voice acting which is superb. The secondary characters are interesting and funny and best of all it passed the kids test. It is one of their most requested.

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12/10/2011

The Animation Show (Vol. 1 & 2 Boxed Set) (2003) Review

The Animation Show (Vol. 1 and 2 Boxed Set) (2003)
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Very pleased with this set. In an age where you can quite easily pay $20 for a new, single-disc release of most movies, which come with no insert other than a one-sheet "Buy more DVDs from this company"...it's refreshing to pay less than $20 for two well-made discs and a very nice, informative booklet. As a fan of Hertzfeldt, Plympton and Judge, I bought this on the strength of them, but am finding a lot more that I like on here as well. Can't wait to catch the road show when it comes to the my area.
Word of warning, most people who come to this page will already know but, some of these cartoons are rather strange. Just be forewarned, if you try to put this on in mixed company, or for people who aren't really into animation other than Family Guy and The Simpsons, I doubt they will run screaming - but they're probably going to give you some strange looks. That's one of the reasons I love them - but, it might not be a lot of people's cup of tea.
And like JONG said, for 67 cents a short, you really can't beat giving it a shot.

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Renowned animators Mike Judge and Don Hertzfeldt present, The Animation Show, showcasing some of the world's best short films. This 2-disc DVD set features 20 celebrated animated short films personally selected by Judge, himself an animation festival veteran, and Academy Award nominated* animator Hertzfeldt. Included in the collection are Academy Award nominees "The Cathedral", "The Rocks" and "Mt. Head", as well as Mike Judge's own "Early Pencil Tests and Other Experiments."* 2001 Animated Short Film Academy Award for "Rejected"

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9/29/2011

Teach Me Tonight (1999) Review

Teach Me Tonight (1999)
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If you are looking for best screenplay candidates, thisprobably isn't it. If you are looking for hot, soft core sex withattractive actresses, this is probably more up your alley. Judy Thompson is gorgeous and seems more believable in her sex scenes than pretty much any other actress I've ever seen on Cinemax. Great sex, gorgeous actresses, a couple of great lesbian/threesome scenes, just enough plot to get from one sex scene to the next without dragging on or seeming forced.

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Item Name: Teach Me Tonight; Studio:Monarch Video

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7/28/2011

We're Back A Dinosaur's Story (1993) Review

We're Back A Dinosaur's Story (1993)
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Not unlike everything else produced under Steven Spielberg's Amblimation company, "We're Back! A Dinosaur's Story" was a critic's punching bag and a rare find for anybody who didn't catch its original release, but even more so than An American Tail - Fievel Goes West or Balto, the story of four dinosaurs in New York seems forsaken by popular animation history, with seemingly more people not even having heard of it than otherwise. While the film does have its faults, this is still a lamentable fate for a feature that puts to shame a lot of what's on the market today and the DVD release of which was way overdue.
The story: four dinosaurs - Rex (John Goodman, Monsters, Inc.), Elsa (Felicity Kendall, Good Neighbors), Dweeb (Charles Fleischer, Who Framed Roger Rabbit), and Woog (Rene La Vant) - gain intelligence and are transported across time by the benevolent Captain Neweyes (Walter Cronkite) so they may fulfill the wishes of the children of the modern world. Dropped in New York City, they swiftly befriend Louie (Joey Shea) and Cecilia (Yeardley Smith, The Simpsons) - two young runaways from opposite sides of the tracks - and find themselves fleeing from panicked grown-ups as they search for the Museum of Natural History...only to find themselves the target of the spooky ringmaster Professor Screweyes (Kenneth Mars, Young Frankenstein), who harbors sinister plans for the dinosaurs.
"We're Back!" is a children's movie, first and foremost, and was most likely aimed at kids no older than nine or ten. In other words, while there is a decent amount of action, scary parts, and humor, it's all pretty inoffensive. Problems are solved by talking and understanding rather than fighting, and you don't have to be spoiled to know from the start that there's going to be a happy ending. This rather harmless approach carries over to the characters themselves: the dinosaurs are very cuddly, and generally everybody is proved to be very warm-hearted - almost too warm-hearted for me, and probably likewise so for anybody else who grew up watching animated films where peril was commonplace.
The performances and production, overall, tend to be pretty good. In addition to Goodman, Fleischer, Smith, Kendall, and Cronkite, the cast boasts Jay Leno, Martin Short (Treasure Planet), Julia Child, and Blaze Berdahl (Ghostwriter) in supporting roles, creating one of the most unique voice ensembles for any film, and they all tend to do good jobs with their roles. Though it retains the trademark big-budget style prevalent in "Fievel" and could still go toe-to-toe with the visuals of a Disney movie at the time, the animation has a flaw: the outlines of human characters' features occasionally stuttering in-between frames - making a nose or mouth look less defined from one second to the next, and on occasion simply disappearing. It's not a debilitating error, but is a bit disappointing to watch happen repeatedly.
What the film does hold in its favor, though, is its ability to inspire the inner child. I know it sounds corny, but consider: who hasn't dreamed of having a special friend that no one else had or seeing a real dinosaur in your own backyard, or having that dinosaur as a special friend? That wonderful ability to warm hearts that producer Steven Spielberg forsook when he began to tackle adult fare is well at work here, with New York City seeming as magical a place as any wonderland before it became associated with real-life disasters. The film pulls off the nostalgia factor incredibly, taking us back to a time before animation turned to 3D and we had Shrek shoved down our throats. I'm not sure how much this means to other people, but this aspect saved the movie for me.
In all, it's not difficult to see why "We're Back!" didn't do very well when it was first released, but why it remains so largely unremembered continues to perplex me. Disregard the technicalities of my three-star rating and know that the film's strengths outweigh its faults effectively, and that the movie is a secret opus for fans of classical animation. Don't deprive yourself - give it a look.

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For every kid who ever wanted to meet a real dinosaur, Steven Spielberg presents We're Back! A Dinosaur's Story - the animated tale of four prehistoric pals in the most awesome adventure since the dawn of time! Join Rex, Woog, Elsa and Dweeb as they time-travel to New York City to meet their biggest fans - modern-day kids - and make all of their wildest dreams come true. Featuring the voices of John Goodman, Jay Leno, Martin Short and Rhea Perlman, We're Back! A Dinosaur's Story is a magical film the whole family will enjoy.

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