Showing posts with label bad movie. Show all posts
Showing posts with label bad movie. Show all posts

5/19/2012

Space Girls in Beverly Hills (2009) Review

Space Girls in Beverly Hills (2009)
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Can't even believe that I wasted my money on this. You will see absolutely NO nudity what so ever in this, so if you're looking for a campy softcore flic, this is not for you!!

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2/24/2012

Category 7: The End of the World (2010) Review

Category 7: The End of the World  (2010)
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I've always been open to watching these disaster movies. Volcano, Twister, Day of Tomorrow ... all good films in their own right, despite what the movie critics say about them.
Category 7: End of the World was a very entertaining movie. I think too many entertainment fans spend too much time over-analyzing movies that are made by the entertainment industry instead of enjoying it for what it is, quality entertainment. While I haven't seen the previous film, Category 6, I plan on purchasing the movie to see how this series started.
While it's not too impossible to believe, such events as what is seen in this film could very well become true. With the rising cost of oil and the fact that the greenhouse effect and global warming are impacting our enviropnment, this movie does have a very moral lesson to show anyone who watches this movie. We must protect our environment before it starts to react to our presence on this world.
It was refreshing to see Shannon Doherty and her authentic talent coming to the surface. She had been released from Beverly Hills 90210 and Charmed because of her attitude with producers and directors but it was refreshing to see her performing true to her nature and having a role that was written just for her. She is a wonderful actress and it's time more and more roles were written specifically for her. Randy Quaid is also the consummate actor who always seems to manage to steal every scene he's in.
But, I was disapponted that the US Government and the politicians that are portrayed in this movie seem content in facing the ultimate destruction of Mother Nature and protecting the interests of the large corporations, oil cartels and special interests instead of safeguarding the lives of the people. It shows a lack of original thinking on the part of the writers, who should have gone to a few more creative writing courses before sitting down to write this movie. In addition, I felt that this movie was a little longer than it should have been. Hopefully, there'll be a little more of a waiting period before we see Category 8, which will be coming our way faster than we can turn off the power.

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NEW ON BLU-RAYCATEGORY 7: THE END OF THE WORLDAs a deadly Category 6 storm descends upon the Earth, unleashing violent winds, hurricane force pressure, and devastating tornadoes, officials scramble to pinpoint the cause. Though global warming is suspect, beautiful but discredited scientist Faith Clavell (Shannen Doherty, Mallrats, TV's Charmed) realizes that something else is triggering the extreme weather. Teaming up with storm chaser Tommy Tornado (Emmy nominee Randy Quaid, Brokeback Mountain, Elvis) and Judith Carr (Gina Gershon, Sinatra, Face/Off), head of FEMA, Faith realizes they must enter the storm itself if they hope to stop it. While the country is at its most vulnerable, the government becomes aware that it is the target of a terrorist organization. Now, it's not only man against nature, but man against man as an intensified Category 7 approaches...

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1/05/2012

Beowulf (1999) Review

Beowulf (1999)
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If you are a rabid fan of ye olde epic Beowulf, and are dying to see it adapted to film, then this is probably not for you. I recommend The 13th Warrior instead. Actually, I recommend The 13th Warrior to any fan of medieval action or fantasy adventure. My endorsement of Beowulf doesn't go NEARLY as far, and yet somehow, in spite of its many glaring flaws, I find this "adaptation" quite entertaining.
This straight-to-video year 2000 take on the ancient tale stars Christopher Lambert as the superhuman hero Beowulf, except this isn't the Dark Ages. Instead, the events take place in a post-apocalyptic future of gears and steaming pipes (a setting that, I feel, was a mistake). It has Hrothgar the "Border Lord," Grendel, and Grendel's mother, but everything else from the poem is absent, and here the similarities begin to wane. As movies go, this is Fortress meets Mortal Kombat (both of which starred Lambert) meets Mad Max, and thrown somewhere in the middle of this techno-gothic realm is Beowulf. Beowulf himself has become a high-flying martial artist (thanks to Lambert's stand-in, naturally); Grendel's mother has become a sexy porn star succubus who seduces Hrothgar in his dreams; and Grendel is your typical B-movie creature with some purple haze surrounding him at all times to make the costume seem more imposing (and, point of fact, it does make the man in a monster suit beastie seem less like what it actually is).
Not unlike the old fantasy flick The Sword and the Sorcerer, Beowulf still manages to be fun in spite of its many failings and sometimes laughable production values (not to mention laughable acting). I still haven't managed to grasp how it can equal more than the sum of its parts, but if you don't expect a film version of the old epic and instead expect a second-rate Lambert action flick, you might have fun also. (stress on MIGHT - different strokes for different folks...)

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Christopher Lambert (MORTAL KOMBAT, HIGHLANDER) stars in this futuristic update of the classic poem written in 900 AD and set in a world of supernatural evil and inexplicable danger! Torn from a legend whose roots are buried in the mists of time, Beowulf is half man -- half god. Living in a techno-futile world of the future, a medieval land where technology's secrets are locked away in a mute past, Beowulf fights his way through a besieging army and into a mysterious, ominous castle on the edge of nowhere to face an evil within ... a beastly spawn of man and demon named Grendel. Now he must fight to the death in order to quell the raging violence hidden deep in his own bedeviled soul!

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10/24/2011

Stone (2010) Review

Stone  (2010)
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Robert DeNiro plays a parole officer about to retire and Edward Norton is cast as a convicted arsonist, trying to convince him that he should get an early release from prison in this gripping "noirish" thriller from director John Curran.
Rather than "convince," the wily Norton is, actually, trying to "manipulate" DeNiro into writing a favorable assessment. He even goes so far as having his beautiful, off-the-wall wife (Milla Jovovich) seduce the corrections official in order to accomplish that.
Though Angus McLachlan's screenplay sometimes tends to meander, it is populated with a quartet of fascinating multi-dimensional characters, none of which are particularly likable, yet all who are seeking some sort of spiritual enlightenment.
DeNiro, in a loveless marriage (to Frances Conroy), finds that his church going cannot help him avoid his darker impulses, while Norton, after he witnesses a fellow prisoner being murdered, claims to have had a religious epiphany. The operative word here is "claims," because we're never quite sure if he's telling the truth or if this apparent change is simply a ruse to get what he wants.
What makes STONE so compelling is its performances. DeNiro, in one of the most complex roles he has had in years, plays a man fighting the evil within him, while Norton utilizes his unique talent to bring to life a chameleon-like sociopath. Though she does not have a lot to do, Ms. Conroy is brilliant as the mostly silent, religious wife who has bargained away her life out of fear.
Certainly Ms. Jovovich, cast as the bold, sexy wife who will stop at nothing to get what she wants, delivers the most colorful and surprising performance. Part bimbo and part seductress, this is one of those women of film noir who would give Barbara Stanwyck's "Phyllis Dietrichson" (DOUBLE INDEMNITY) a run for her money. And, it is also prime evidence that Ms. Jovovich is capable of doing material much more interesting than the RESIDENT EVIL franchise.
The DVD from Anchor Bay Entertainment contains a "Making of" featurette.© Michael B. Druxman

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Academy Award winner Robert De Niro and Oscar nominee Edward Norton deliver powerful performances as a seasoned corrections official and a scheming inmate whose lives become dangerously intertwined in this 'gritty and engrossing thriller" (Steve O'Brien, WCBS-FM).Jack Mabry (De Niro), a parole officer days away from retirement, is asked to review the case of Gerald 'Stone" Creeson (Norton), in prison for arson. Now eligible for early release, Stone needs to convince Jack he has reformed, but his attempts to influence the older man's decision with his wife Lucetta (Milla Jovovich) have profound and unexpected effects on them both.This tale of passion, betrayal and corruption skillfully weaves together the parallel journeys of two men grappling with dark impulses, as the line between lawman and lawbreaker becomes precariously thin.

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9/08/2011

Friday the 13th (Extended Killer Cut) (2009) Review

Friday the 13th (Extended Killer Cut) (2009)
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Oddly enough i found myself enjoying this movie quite a bit, sure there were a few parts towards the end where i wanted to fast forward, but nothing to make me wanna shut it off. This movie is far far superior to the absolutely horrid My Bloody Valentine, which is about the worst attempt at a horror flick i've ever seen. Anyways moving on here is a short review using pros and cons about the movie.
PROS
*The actors can actually act, some better than others.
*The comical parts are actually funny, (one is unintentional as a body flies from the window above and smashes a windshield mr TOUGH blonde guy screams like a girl)! I rewond it a few times!
*Its scary in a very realistic tense way.
*Jason looks bigger and badder than ever, the way he finds his mask in this film is very cool.
*All the characters have there own unique personality, and the girls arent just stupid bimbos who run.
*It actually HAS a plot, the guy who is looking for his sister gone missing.
*Bloody but not even nearly as bad as a movie like CRANK-HIGH VOLTAGE.
*The over all atmosphere and production(direction) is well executed.
*Great looking girls(much better than the 80's and 90's) with a few great sex scenes:)
CONS
*Every actor except maybe 3 look like they just stepped out of GQ or Vogue magazine(put at least one fatty in there).
*Some obvious cliche' parts of why didnt they just swim to the other side, or why didnt they just run(faster), or hide.
*Some of the killing scenes are a bit drawn out(die already).
*Jason has become an expert archer.(laughs)
*The people you do think will survive do survive,(well sorta)
*Some of the script seems a little off in places, or confused.
*A few parts don't make sense, plot wise.
*The usual, he kills everyone very very easily except one person who always seems to be the toughest.
*Also Friday the 13th, is NEVER mentioned in this movie.
Other than the for mentioned which can easily be overlooked, unlike a lot of horror films, it really is a worth while watch. I watched it the first time alone, but plan on watching it with a group, or just one girl, at some point. So though i'm not a big splatter horror fan(more of a psychological horror buff) this was not bad at all. Just a few usual cliche's and a few plot mistakes here and there. Also the people are just a little TO beautiful, but hey isnt that what a good horror film is all about. Good looking people must be easier to kill!!! HA.
PS-Jasons last name is not mentioned either, same dude? Who knows. Plus sometimes in this he's an emotional little big ole psychopath. Poor Jas.


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FRIDAY THE 13TH:KILLER CUT - DVD Movie

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7/28/2011

Hot Tub Time Machine (Unrated) (2010) Review

Hot Tub Time Machine (Unrated)  (2010)
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I really wanted to hate this movie. When my friend opted for this on "husband-has-the-kids-tonight" night, I mostly agreed just to use up a free ticket. Yes, it is crude, and it is lewd and it's totally socially unacceptable. Having said that, I laughed 'til my sides hurt. I've not laughed this hard since Blazing Saddles. It is that good. Don't take the kids, don't take the parents, don't take bosses or members of clergy - just go, laugh and feel free to revel in the silliness. A bit of warning - when they say 'Rated R' they're serious...strong language and sex.

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HOT TUB TIME MACHINE - Blu-Ray Movie

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We're Back A Dinosaur's Story (1993) Review

We're Back A Dinosaur's Story (1993)
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Not unlike everything else produced under Steven Spielberg's Amblimation company, "We're Back! A Dinosaur's Story" was a critic's punching bag and a rare find for anybody who didn't catch its original release, but even more so than An American Tail - Fievel Goes West or Balto, the story of four dinosaurs in New York seems forsaken by popular animation history, with seemingly more people not even having heard of it than otherwise. While the film does have its faults, this is still a lamentable fate for a feature that puts to shame a lot of what's on the market today and the DVD release of which was way overdue.
The story: four dinosaurs - Rex (John Goodman, Monsters, Inc.), Elsa (Felicity Kendall, Good Neighbors), Dweeb (Charles Fleischer, Who Framed Roger Rabbit), and Woog (Rene La Vant) - gain intelligence and are transported across time by the benevolent Captain Neweyes (Walter Cronkite) so they may fulfill the wishes of the children of the modern world. Dropped in New York City, they swiftly befriend Louie (Joey Shea) and Cecilia (Yeardley Smith, The Simpsons) - two young runaways from opposite sides of the tracks - and find themselves fleeing from panicked grown-ups as they search for the Museum of Natural History...only to find themselves the target of the spooky ringmaster Professor Screweyes (Kenneth Mars, Young Frankenstein), who harbors sinister plans for the dinosaurs.
"We're Back!" is a children's movie, first and foremost, and was most likely aimed at kids no older than nine or ten. In other words, while there is a decent amount of action, scary parts, and humor, it's all pretty inoffensive. Problems are solved by talking and understanding rather than fighting, and you don't have to be spoiled to know from the start that there's going to be a happy ending. This rather harmless approach carries over to the characters themselves: the dinosaurs are very cuddly, and generally everybody is proved to be very warm-hearted - almost too warm-hearted for me, and probably likewise so for anybody else who grew up watching animated films where peril was commonplace.
The performances and production, overall, tend to be pretty good. In addition to Goodman, Fleischer, Smith, Kendall, and Cronkite, the cast boasts Jay Leno, Martin Short (Treasure Planet), Julia Child, and Blaze Berdahl (Ghostwriter) in supporting roles, creating one of the most unique voice ensembles for any film, and they all tend to do good jobs with their roles. Though it retains the trademark big-budget style prevalent in "Fievel" and could still go toe-to-toe with the visuals of a Disney movie at the time, the animation has a flaw: the outlines of human characters' features occasionally stuttering in-between frames - making a nose or mouth look less defined from one second to the next, and on occasion simply disappearing. It's not a debilitating error, but is a bit disappointing to watch happen repeatedly.
What the film does hold in its favor, though, is its ability to inspire the inner child. I know it sounds corny, but consider: who hasn't dreamed of having a special friend that no one else had or seeing a real dinosaur in your own backyard, or having that dinosaur as a special friend? That wonderful ability to warm hearts that producer Steven Spielberg forsook when he began to tackle adult fare is well at work here, with New York City seeming as magical a place as any wonderland before it became associated with real-life disasters. The film pulls off the nostalgia factor incredibly, taking us back to a time before animation turned to 3D and we had Shrek shoved down our throats. I'm not sure how much this means to other people, but this aspect saved the movie for me.
In all, it's not difficult to see why "We're Back!" didn't do very well when it was first released, but why it remains so largely unremembered continues to perplex me. Disregard the technicalities of my three-star rating and know that the film's strengths outweigh its faults effectively, and that the movie is a secret opus for fans of classical animation. Don't deprive yourself - give it a look.

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For every kid who ever wanted to meet a real dinosaur, Steven Spielberg presents We're Back! A Dinosaur's Story - the animated tale of four prehistoric pals in the most awesome adventure since the dawn of time! Join Rex, Woog, Elsa and Dweeb as they time-travel to New York City to meet their biggest fans - modern-day kids - and make all of their wildest dreams come true. Featuring the voices of John Goodman, Jay Leno, Martin Short and Rhea Perlman, We're Back! A Dinosaur's Story is a magical film the whole family will enjoy.

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7/17/2011

Barbie Fairytopia: Mermaidia (2010) Review

Barbie Fairytopia: Mermaidia (2010)
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I should have known when I saw this was a follow on from Fairytopia that I would be disappointed. This is the story of Elina, who in the movie Fairytopia saved her country of Fairytopia and gained her wings. In this she is sent an urgent message from the Prince of Mermaidia (who briefly appeared in Fairytopia) who asks for her to help him. The movie is full of the trials and tribulations she goes through for him, along with his girlfriend Nori. I expect it is deliberate they have named the Mermaid heroine after Japanese Edible seaweed but it seems ill-considered.
Anyway - the good things about the movie, it is brightly coloured, and the costumes for the characters are gorgeous, when Elina becomes a mermaid she looks just stunning. There are really nice messages in this - about overcoming jealousy, selflessness, sharing and the power of team work. Some of these messages are laid on with a trowel, but on the other hand it is for young children and I think the message needs to be strong. And lets get real here, the movies aren't aimed at adults. However I thinksome of hte best movies are those that can easily be watched by Adults and children together - and the best Barbie movie (I think) was Princess and the Pauper where I still find it easy to sit down with my kids and watch it. I wish Barbie movies would get back to that sort of good, singing fun.
the things I found difficult is that although there was a strong basic story (getting the immunity berry) the whole thing was quite confusing for my under 5 year olds. There is so much going on that they quickly lost track of what was happening and who was who. There were too many characters and they all seemed to have marketing tie-ins - lots of mer-ferry's, snails, mermaids, turtles, dolphins - the list went on and on. The overall story which seemed to start it all seemed a weak concept from the start. Some of the characters faces were too animated. In the early Barbie movies there still seemed to be a semblance of reality, but the merferries and so on did seem oddly characterised, almost like Japanese Anime. Perhaps it is something children like, but I prefer the traditional animation, certainly the mix of the two was unsettling at times. Lastly, there is a moment when Elina and Nori get marks of courage which look like tatoos - call me conservative, but I don't want my under 5 year old even thinking a tatoo is cool - no matter what form it takes.
There were some genuinely good moments in this film and despite its faults my children have watched it a couple of times, but it doesn't really interest them in the way that the early dancing ones (swan lake for instance or Princess and the Pauper) I really hope the next movie planned is one of these sort.

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