The Order - From Matthew Barney's Cremaster Cycle 3 Review

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(More customer reviews)The Order: From Cremaster 3 (Matthew Barney, 2002)
First off, let me just say that the disc is misrepresented by most people. Yes, it's a teaser DVD released in anticipation of the full Cremaster boxed set (which was supposed to be out 16 September 2003, and is now pushed back vaguely to "sometime in 2004"). No, it's not a hundred twenty minutes of Cremaster 3, which ran three hours in the theaters. It's thirty minutes of Cremaster 3 that occur towards the end of the film. So at the prices you're seeing it selling for at amazon, ebay, etc., it's not worth it unless you already know you love Cremaster (for reasons specified below).
As a rental, though, The Order is an absolute must. I don't know whether Matthew Barney created the subsection of Cremaster 3 called The Order with an eye towards releasing it as a teaser, but one way or the other, it works fantastically.
The Cremaster Cycle is that rarest of oddities, a series of films that have managed to become wildly popular despite having content that would leave the average filmgoer walking out scratching his head and saying "what on earth did I just sit through?" For that matter, most film snobs will wonder the same thing. Cremaster is like the Ezra Pound's Cantos of modern film; you'll enjoy it on the surface, but there's much more to be found if you happen to be up on such topics as Biblical history, the Masonic initiation rites, the Paralympics, and other such cultural obscurities. But don't let such a thing stop you. I know there's a lot of you out there who just have a thing for men in kilts. You get that, too.
Cremaster 3 is an allegorical tale detailing the construction of the Chrysler Building and linking it to the construction of the Temple of Solomon. The Order is a piece of this (filmed in the Guggenheim Museum, a gorgeous space made even more so by the film's set decoration) that deals far more with the Temple of Solomon aspect and the focus on the Masonic initiation rites. The protagonist is the Masonic Entered Apprentice (played by Barney). He starts at the bottom of a large cylindrical room with a spiral walkway that goes up five levels, with each level being a degree of Masonic initiation. Needless to say, this is not easy; he can't just walk up, but must climb, and each degree has a particular challenge he must face; an aggressive chorus line, a battle between two New York punk bands (Murphy's Law and Agnostic Front), a love interest (Paralympic gold medalist and Olympic athlete Aimee Mullins), The Five Points of Fellowship (you tell me, I have no idea) and, at the pinnacle, the Architect of the Temple of Solomon and the Chrysler Building himself (played by artist Richard Serra).
Like the rest of the film, the Apprentice's assent is not a linear thing; he bounces back and forth between levels, trying to figure out what's going on as much as we are. Pieces of each puzzle are scattered throughout, giving the whole thing an odd, Myst-like feel. (In fact, the Apprentice does not end with Serra, but on a lower level; non-linearity at its finest?)
Where the DVD of The Order may become purchasable for the average Joe who finds himself enamored with the Cremaster films is in the bonus material, which is what stretches the disc out to the promised 120 minutes. There are six full songs from each band to be found if you dig around enough, and a whole lot of outtake footage from each degree; various shots taken from various angles that extend each degree into a mini-film of its own (for example, the chorus line on the first level, who actually get maybe four minutes of screen time in the finished piece, do a whole fifteen-minute routine. The choreography is wonderful, and one wonders why you never see such things in actual chorus line performances).
For most of us, though, The Order is bound to do exactly what it set out to do: what our appetites for the whole boxed set. If there's as much bonus material in the box as there is on this disc, it's going to be huge, and wonderful, and worth whatever Palm Pictures ends up charging for it. See this now. **** ½

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Alice's Adventures in Wonderland Review

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(More customer reviews)This is my favorite production of the ALICE books. I love the sets, songs, and casting. It's also very British, which I think adds another great element to the mix.
However, skip this DVD edition. I got it, excited to see ALICE'S ADVENTURES IN WONDERLAND in widescreen and, perhaps a better print than what's previously been available.
No such luck.
The DVD appears to be struck from the same crappy VHS version that's been out there for ages. Faded colors. Pan-and-scan. In this age of DVD, quality like this is such a shame.

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Doomsday 2012 DVD (2009) Review

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(More customer reviews)This film makes a worth-while addition to the series of films about ancient and recent prophecies regarding the alleged end of days on December 21, 2012. It certainly makes better viewing than the recent fictional film 2012. This one does not give much screen time to Nostradamus; that has been done in the History Channel film of that name. Since I have reviewed that DVD elsewhere on Amazon, I won't dwell on it here. This film DOOMSDAY 2012 stands on its own merits because it introduces information not touched upon in the former film -- e.g., the real Merlin called Myrddin in the Welsh, the sylbils from ancient Greece and Rome, and even a computer program called WEB BOT, which inadvertently made predictions about 9/11 and 2012 it was not originally created to make. This film also gives more attention to The Revelations of St. John in the Bible.
Of course, we have heard or read about the predictions of the star-gazing Mayans, the Hopis, the Egyptians, and the Masons. Persons we may not have heard about are such characters as Mother Shipton (Ursula Southill) and a real-life seer named Myrddin, perhaps the basis for the fictional Merlin in the King Arthur stories. It also gives needed attention to the ancient Chinese oracle the I Ching, a system of divination that pre-dates the others we have heard about. In fact, this film consults (no pun intended) just about every oracle except the Tarot and the Runes.
The filming of these programs is astonishingly well-done and credit should be given to the efforts of the producers and cinematographers. Credit should also be given to this program in particular for including the skeptics who want to share their "rational" perspectives on this topic. These are quality productions, not throwaway cheap-o commercial efforts like those we have seen, even theatrically, in the past. Footage from various quarters is well-chosen and skillfully included to aid the interviews with the experts on both side of the controversy.
When I showed this DVD to some Chinese students recently, I was aware of some wide-eyed reactions. One young lady, noted for her insightful comments in my classes, asked me if I believed that this could happen. I was hesitant to answer because I am aware of the impact that statements made by a professor can have. I told her that I thought the evidence was credible and well-presented -- convincing enough as an argument. As this and other programs have emphasized, we have choices. Being aware of these choices gives us the responsibility to try to influence actions that will benefit all mankind. What else can I say -- that I am totally convinced that the world will end on December 21, 2012? I am not. Do I think that significant changes may occur that may alter our existence as we know it? I think it is a distinct possibility. We have seen some of these events already -- earthquakes in Haiti and Chile, tidal waves, global warming indications, a sink hole opening up in Guatemala, a chunk of Antarctica the size of Rhode Island (exactly as predicted in the fictional film THE DAY AFTER TOMORROW) falling into the ocean. I grew up on the Mississippi River and saw what flood devastation could do. I saw what the waterfront of St. Louis looked like after it had been inundated. I have seen flooding in south Georgia (in the US), and the images of floating coffins after graveyards had been violated by torrents of water will also remain in my memory.
I cannot help but remember how frightened many people were about what would happen to worldwide computers at the end of 1999. I remember seeing people loading up their carts with water in the food markets. I also remember what a graduate professor once told me when I was writing about the lost continent of Atlantis and apocalyptic literature regarding the many times that the end of the world had been predicted in the past, which is also mentioned in this film. As she put it, many people don't want to consider the fact that the world might continue long after they are gone -- an interesting perspective, I thought.
However, it is apparent to many of us that to ignore the possibilities of future world-wide devastation is naive.
Then again, remaining naive is what we do best, isn't it? After all, it beats thinking every time.

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It is a doomsday that is foretold in the Mayan calendar, the Chinese oracle of the I Ching...even in an Internet-based prophetic software program: December 21st, 2012. Is there any truth to the prophecy that the world will end on that specific date? And why do so many oracles throughout history seem to point to that same dreaded doomsday? This fascinating special cuts through the myths and offers a fact-based examination of the Doomsday prophecy. Also included is a bonus documentary: MAYAN DOOMSDAY PROPHECY which delves even deeper into meaning behind the Mayans and their apocalyptic calendar.

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Comedy Central Roast of Pamela Anderson Uncensored (2005) Review

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(More customer reviews)The latest roasts on comedy central have been funny, but not memorable enough for a second viewing. Well Comedy Central has found a way to change that with the roast of Pamela Anderson. Oh Pamela you gorgeous Baywatch babe, she takes hits like I've never seen before on live television. And now with the release of this dvd you get to see the whole thing uncensored! Oh comedy central, you shouldn't have.
If you think you've seen a roast before .. you havent seen anything yet. The Roast of Pamela Anderson had me rolling in the aisles the first time I saw it on Comedy Central a couple months ago. And as many times as they re-ran it, I tell you I couldnt get enough. Let me just mention some of the goodies found here: First and foremost Pamela, in a classy see through getup, handles herself oddly enough with class, dignity, and a smile. She is one heck of a lady. But its the guests that are the highlight. Lets first start with Courtney Love, a personal hero of mine! Courtney was detained shortly after this performance and sent into rehab, so its quite a laugh to hear her boast here of how she has been clean and sober for a year! Clean and sober she is not, funny as hell she is. She is the scene stealer here, and the other comedians take more joy out of poking fun at her than even Pamela at some points. All of which are hillarious, and watching Courtney react and flail and fall about, is certainly something that needs to be re-watched over and over again. We get Bea Arthur reading excerpts from Pamela's book. Can you say brilliant? Who woulda known Bea Arthur would come out of hiding to roast our lady of the hour? She delivers the double-whammy when she reads aloud one of the "sexiest" scenesof the book. We have the always hillarious Sarah Silverman doing what she does best. She has had one hell of a year what with her movie "Jesus is Magic" her cameo in "Rent" her part in "The Aristocrats" and showing up at many roasts. Here she does herself proud poking fun at Pam, Courtney, and her boyfriend Jimmy Kimmel to name a few. Andy Dick takes a feel of Pammy's assets, and confuses an audience again with his sexuality. Tommy Lee is on hand. Which is great because he and Pam are like the couple never meant to be together, but somehow you just root for them. Although they aren't together as of the taping, it is cute to watch them take jabs at each other. The self proclaimed "Queen of Mean" Lisa Lampanelli delivers perhaps the funniest bits near the end before Pam herself gets her revenge.
Pam sat through the hell of a roast all for charity, PETA of course, which she is known to support avidly. (even protesting at KFC's .. she is quite devoted, and I think she should be commended for it). So with the cast of Jimmy Kimmel, Tommy Lee, Adam Carolla, Eddie Griffin, Sarah Silverman, Jeffrey Ross, Nick Dipaolo, Andy Dick, Greg Giraldo, Bea Arthur, Elon Gold, Lisa Lampanelli, Lady Bunny, Courtney Love, even Anna Nicole Smith (in the audience) and of course Pamela herself, it is a star studded hillarious event.
And now you can own it and rewatch it over and over. Who wouldnt want to see Courtney Love take a pratfall right at the moment when Pam gets up to deliver her speech? And the dvd features a ton of bonus features which are equally as exciting. Theres footage from the rehearsal, theres outtakes from the show, theres stuff from the red carpet (hillarious), and more. So overall Im giving this 4 stars. It is the funniest thing you will find on dvd this month. So if youre in need of a laugh, or a fan of any of the comedians or musicians on the dvd, this is a must have. Check it out, you wont regret it.


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Jimmy Kimmel hosts a roasting of sex-symbol Pamela Anderson.Item Type: DVD MovieItem Rating: NRStreet Date: 02/14/06Wide Screen: noDirector Cut: noSpecial Edition: noLanguage: ENGLISHForeign Film: noSubtitles: noDubbed: noFull Frame: yesRe-Release: noPackaging: Sleeve

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Bubble (2006) Review

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(More customer reviews)In a small town on the Ohio and West Virgina border, Martha and Kyle work together at the local doll factory. Martha is a middle-aged, unmarried woman who lives with her infirmed father and takes care of him. Kyle is an unfocused young man, who never finished high school and still lives with his mom in the local trailer park. Martha and Kyle are "friends." Martha picks Kyle up for work everyday, and she even drives him to his other job at the shovel factory in the same town. Everything is normal until the doll factory hires a new worker. The new worker, Rose, is a single mother around Kyle's age. Rose and Kyle become good friends, and even go out on a date together. All of these incidents come together to lead to tragic consequences about halfway through the film.
Bubble is really an odd, intense film. The character of Martha seems to paint a picture of a life of pointlessness, loneliness, and sadness. Martha obviously thinks more of her relationship with Kyle than he does. Their conversations are never complicated, and are filled with plenty of awkward silences. In fact, the silences are some of the best parts of Bubble. All the conversations feel completely real. Maybe it was Steven Soderbergh's choice to use non-actors for the film's main roles, or maybe it was the writing, but either way, the film feels very normal and realistic.
Some people would argue that nothing actually happens for the first 40 minutes of the film; and they would be right. The first 40 minutes consist mostly of talks between Martha and Kyle, and silent shots of Martha going about her pathetic, lonely existence in the small town. However, once the murder happens, the film becomes much more interesting on a more normal level of film entertainment. I personally enjoyed the entire film, which runs a very short length of about 75 minutes.
Obviously, the point of the film isn't the mystery. It's more about life in this small, poor town, where no one can seem to get out and make a good life for themselves. Martha's father is still there. Kyle's mother is still there. Rose's ex-boyfriend is still there. And when all their lives intersect for that one night, there are terrible consequences. I really enjoyed the film, but I don't think I'd watch it again, and normal filmgoers will probably not enjoy the slow, deliberate pacing and lack of action.
Hey, it is a step up from Ocean's 12, at least.

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Thomas and the Magic Railroad (2000) Review

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(More customer reviews)Our 3yr old boy loves Thomas. We have all the videos and trains, etc. He wants to watch this thing every day. He repeats lines from the movie and acts them out all day. It was great for him. We took him to the movies to see it together. He loved that, too. For him, we would do it all again in a minute.
As parents, we could have done without the "mean-ness" of Diesel #10 and the fact that he wants to "dominate and destroy". He also uses the word "stupid" several times. Not nice.
As adult movie critics, we saw laughably poor acting (with the exception of "Mr. Conductor" and "Junior". (Notice that even some of the 5-star reviewers agree.) Britt Alcroft directed and wrote it, and it is obvious that she should have asked for help from someone who knew what they were doing. If you pay attention, expect to be confused. We expected more because we actually enjoy watching all of the other videos, and they are really well done.

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THOMAS & THE MAGIC RAILROAD - DVD Movie

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