Showing posts with label grindhouse classic. Show all posts
Showing posts with label grindhouse classic. Show all posts

8/22/2012

The Beach Girls (1982) / Coach (1978) Review

The Beach Girls (1982) / Coach (1978)
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More drive-in/grindhouse-style fun! A grindhouse, by the way, was one of those 70's & 80's-era theaters that usually showed the same kind of sexy, violent exploitation fare as your typical drive-in theater. Sadly, both grindhouses and drive-ins have mostly fallen by the wayside in our slick multiplex culture. But, fear not, you get a sharp taste of that bygone era with these terrific "Welcome to the Grindhouse" DVDs. So, what's in store when you pop this particular double-feature disc into your DVD player and kick back? Glad you asked.
First (well, after the cheesy, scratchy, yet colorfully hypnotic "previews of coming attractions" bumper that every theater seemed to show in those days), you get a short trailer to something called "The Van" (randy guys cruising for chicks in their specially-outfitted-for-love vehicle) and a longer trailer for something called "Jocks" (randy guys on some vague high school or college sports team who party and chase girls a lot). Do you sense a theme here?
Next up, our first feature, "The Beach Girls". In a nutshell: one long party, frequent nudity (skinnydipping in the pool, skinnydipping on the beach, and just an overall casual attitude about the importance of clothing in general), and lots of pot smoking. With its lenient attitude about drug use and sex, along with the way it ridicules men in uniform (especially the poor U.S. Coast Guard, whose officers are portrayed as ascot-wearing dopes), I can't imagine that "The Beach Girls" was very popular with PTA groups, law enforcement, and other organizations that usually sport a sour attitude about those kinds of things. But you're not among those groups, are you, so all you need to know is this: the girls are sexy; the jokes are stupid but undeniably chuckle-inducing; and there's a general, upbeat "sun & fun" flavor that keeps things bopping along. The result: 90 minutes of silly, clothing-optional fun.
Next up: more sexy previews. "Malibu Beach" looks like the official sister film to "The Beach Girls". In fact, many of the visual gags performed by the extras in "The Beach Girls" (dog stealing the bikini top from the gal sunbather, for example) are seen again- the exact same footage, I mean- in the trailer for "Malibu Beach". I guess Crown International Pictures was an economical operation. There's also a trailer to a film called "My Tutor", featuring that classic theme of the exploitation era, the student/teacher liaison (more on this later). Oh, and be sure to remember: in order to see all these high-art previews and trailers, you need to hit the "grindhouse experience" icon on the DVD's menu screen, not just select an individual movie. The "grindhouse experience" means you get all the goodies discussed here.
Next we have our second feature, entitled "Coach". Of the handful of "Welcome to the Grindhouse" movies I've seen so far, this one is the most like, well... a real movie. It's a nice little story about a female high school basketball coach winning over her detractors (the high school's old boy network, the skeptical team members, etc.) and eventually making her underachieving team into winners. It's nothing groundbreaking, but this polished movie, with its recognizable actors (Cathy Lee Crosby, Keenan Wynn, etc.) was clearly an attempt by Crown International Pictures to break into more mainstream markets. Fear not, though, exploitation fans... in many respects, Crown still couldn't help being Crown, so you still get the following from "Coach": occasional female toplessness (by the girl students, but not, alas, by Ms. Crosby... except for one short, teasing shot); lots of male butt views in the team shower for gal viewers; a hot affair (unfortunately, discreetly filmed) between Cathy Lee Crosby's coach character and one of her teenage charges (a very young Michael Biehn, who went on to play the time-traveling Reese a few years later in the first "Terminator" film); a surprisingly benign view of that teacher/student liaison on the part of the film makers (no 11th hour punishment or tragedy to break up the illicit lovers); and the usual goofy but fun jokes.
The prints used for the two films are both very, very good. They're sharp, clear, and bright, and free of scratches and other glitches. That, coupled with the fact that the films themselves rate a couple of notches higher on the production quality scale (especially "Coach"), made these goofy, sexy comedy/dramas (well, "dramas" might be too strong a word) a pleasure to watch. After all, there's nothing wrong with a little polish and professionalism with one's exploitation fare.
Well, enough with the sun, fun, and bikinis. Now it's time for me to check out some of those "Welcome to the Grindhouse" DVDs that feature martial arts double features. Everything can't be about girls and hedonism, you know.

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5/02/2012

SS Girls (Widescreen Edition) (2005) Review

SS Girls (Widescreen Edition) (2005)
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I had a good time with SS GIRLS. It's not bogged down with grim, sordid torture scenes, instead offering a heaping platter of cheesy chuckles served up by a harem of naked Euro-sluts. Some of the badly dubbed dialog is absolutely hysterical. Of particular note is the astonishingly overwrought "performance" - if you can call it that - of Gabriele Carrara as the demented SS officer Schellenberg. Other than running about 10 minutes too long (director Bruno Mattei, who also co-scripted, tacks on a pointless soliloquy by a minor character near the end), SS GIRLS hits all the right Eurotrash notes. There's oodles of female nudity (with some lesbianism and S&M in the mix), a number of scenes in very bad taste (that thankfully don't get TOO revolting), and loads of unintentional humor. Mattei even tosses in a bit of action in the form of a Russian tank attack.

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4/29/2012

Diary of a Nudist / The Naked Venus (1958) Review

Diary of a Nudist / The Naked Venus (1958)
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This disc is packed with stuff! There are the two movies with their very coy nudity (watch as the ladies artfully stand with their legs covering the 'rude' bits or with towels/papers/hats draped over their midsection. The picture is a good restoration of some poor quality (old poorly preserved) originals, but it is still very watchable. The movies themselves are not spectacular in their plot but still fun and interesting.
The extra's (of which there is over an hour) are the piece de resistance. You get trailers from 6 nudism related movies, extra footage from The Naked Venus, four shorts on nudity, a heap of poster art/production stills from various nudity related movies (with radio discussions over the top) and an easter egg of a nudist wedding.
About half of the extra's are in black and white (as is The Naked Venus). Some have been restored to very good quality but one or two are almost unwatchable. There is virtually no full frontal nudity, but lots of breasts and bottoms.
Everything is from the 50's and 60's and looks it (even naked, you can tell the era from the hair/makeup (sometimes this is caked on) and the cars). If you're interested in the history of nudity or nudity in films then this is highly recommended.

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3/13/2012

Ilsa - She Wolf of the SS (1975) Review

Ilsa - She Wolf of the SS (1975)
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"Ilsa: She-Wolf of the SS" is perhaps one of the better known exploitation films made in the last thirty years. The picture, directed by Don Edmonds and starring Dyanne Thorne in the titular role, is also one of the most disturbing. Oddly enough, I found this movie even more sickening the second time around. The first time I watched Ilsa do her stuff was on an old VHS tape about five years ago, and I didn't think the film was as horrific as many viewers made it out to be. Usually, the disgust factor works the other way around: the first viewing is the worst with the shock value wearing away on subsequent viewings. I should probably question the value of even watching "Ilsa: She-Wolf of the SS" more than once, but I wanted to see what the picture looked like with a snappy new transfer to DVD. Moreover, I wanted to listen to the commentary track with Edmonds, Thorne, and producer David Friedman of "Blood Feast" fame (billed here as Herman Traeger). I wasn't disappointed; the picture quality of "Ilsa" is stunning for such a low budget piece of trash. The commentary track too makes this disc a must have for lovers of schlock cinema. Just don't pop this one in the DVD player when the relatives show up or as a substitute for taking your gal out on the town.
Set in the waning days of the Second World War, "Ilsa: She-Wolf of the SS" takes place in a special medical camp where the brutal camp commander Ilsa (Dyanne Thorne) and her busty minions wreak havoc on a bevy of female prisoners. There are a few guys around too, mostly to act as boy toys for Ilsa's ravenous appetites. Ilsa's supposed to be conducting experiments on helpless prisoners that will benefit the German military effort, but she's got quite the disturbing side project going on as well. According to the She-Wolf, women possess certain biological characteristics that make them more resistant to pain then men. You can almost guess what happens next. Ilsa sets aside a hidden little laboratory in the basement of her office to test out her personal theories while the approved experiments take place in another building. Both sets of trials are excruciating to watch. The Germans test the effects of high pressure, boiling temperatures, and diseases on the female inmates of the prison. Down in the basement, Ilsa and her two blonde goons strip down to the waist in order to administer severe beatings to selected troublemakers. There's a lot more I could detail, but believe it or not these are the least offensive scenes in the movie. "Ilsa: She-Wolf of the SS" is sick, sick stuff.
A sort of hope fills the prisoners' hearts when Wolfe (George Knoph) enters the camp. The new inmate has a "special ability" that allows him to find a way into the frosty heart of the buxom camp commander. Behind the scenes, the prisoners plot to escape from the prison any way they can. It won't be easy, not when one faces Ilsa, her she-wolfettes, her male assistant, a pack of sadistic guards, and machine gun towers. In the meantime, the degradations continue unabated. Ilsa whips up a few special treats for a visiting general (Wolfgang Roehm) that truly turn the stomach as Wolfe, Mario (Tony Mumolo), and Kala (Nicolle Riddell) carefully map out there plan. Will the prisoners escape? Will Ilsa and her handmaidens receive their just desserts? Will the Allies arrive at the camp before everyone perishes at the hands of the Germans? Will tough chick Anna (Maria Marx) withstand Ilsa's experiments and thus prove the commander's theory? Will you be able to keep your lunch down during the hour and a half it takes to watch the movie? These questions, and many others, will find resolution by the time the final credits roll.
What won't find resolution is your utter disgust with the film. A gallon of mouthwash won't remove the bad taste this movie leaves behind in your mouth. I found myself inadvertently comparing Edmond's picture with "Schindler's List," another film dealing with German atrocities during the Second World War. Truth be told, "List" is much more harrowing in its depictions of the concentration camps and the horrible living conditions of those people enslaved by the Germans. What sets "Ilsa" apart, what makes it even worse than "Schindler's List," is that it's all done for cheap, value neutral kicks. Why else play up endless scenes of nudity in a movie about war crimes? Despite Thorne's amazingly campy performance, "Ilsa: She-Wolf of the SS" is a ghastly film that should repulse more than it exhilarates. Even more disturbing is the admission on the commentary track that the movie sets come from the television show "Hogan's Heroes." You won't see LeBeau, Carter, Sergeant Schultz, or Colonel Klink in this movie! If you find anything remotely exhilarating about this picture, you've been falling behind on your electroshock therapy treatments again.
Dyanne Thorne does pull off her role with ease, coming across as a heartless, cold monster without an ounce of remorse in her bones. It's quite the contrast to listen to the commentary track and realize the actress seems like an intelligent, sunny personality with a good sense of humor. Unfortunately (or fortunately, depending on your view), the commentary track, a trailer, and a few biographies are the only extras on the disc. If you feel up to it, after you watch Ilsa ham it up as a German camp commander, you can watch her in three other films reprising the character-with slight modifications-in the Middle East and in Siberia. These are classic movies, for sure, but they're upsetting ones as well.

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7/05/2011

Extra Weird Sampler (2003) Review

Extra Weird Sampler (2003)
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If you are a fan of B-Movies, or just want to become a bit more familiar with the genre, this DVD is an absolute steal! I bought this "Something Weird Sampler" because of the low price, but my expectations were not high. I say with a grin "How wrong I was!"
A combination of theater trailers and 5-10 minutes snipets of flicks, The Sampler is an absolute video feast. What makes this budget buy so valuable is that a good portion of these films are unwatchable as full length films, but a sampling of the film or its trailer is priceless.
A few of the films like "Confessions of a Psycho-Cat" and "Swamp Girl" are low budget gems I enjoy on their entirety. The trailers for both these movies are included, and are every bit as awesome as the films themselves (by the way, the man being gored to death by the "Lady Matador Psycho-Cat" is none other than Jake LaMotta!).
And if you are one of those fans of 1960s nudie & cheesecake movies, this trailer compilation has nudity galore in many of these previews, including "Wham-Bam Thank You Spaceman," "Nude on the Moon," and "Kiss Me Quick."
Other truly hep trailers include "Kidnapped Co-Ed," "Two Thousand Maniacs," "Mantis In Lace" (late 1960s classic about a stripper who, under the influence of LSD, becomes a killing machine!), "Johnny Firecloud," "For The Hell Of It," and LOTS MORE!
I truly hope there is a sequel to this Sampler. It would be great to see other trailers and samplings that Something Weird Video does have in their library like "Pot, Parents and Police," "The Psychedelic Priest," and "The Adventures of Lucky Pierre."

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Item Name: Extra Weird Sampler; Studio:Image Entertainment

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